Davey And Hannah Predict The Future With Mad Libs

A single random word can derail a whole family conversation and we prove it by trying to “predict the future” using Mad Libs style newsletter headlines. What starts as a Father’s Day Bonanza catch up quickly turns into a fast, silly game where we ask for a celebrity, an object, a place, a number, and an adjective, then stitch them into tomorrow’s news. The results are gloriously unhinged: accidental run-ins with The Rock, suspiciously specific monkey totals, questionable inventions, and headlines that feel like they should not be read out loud but absolutely must be. 

Between the jokes, we get properly British about it all: a quick rant about muggy UK weather, a chat about swearing as a weird form of affection, and the kind of teasing that only works when you actually like each other. We also wander into a few surprisingly relatable corners, from the “Merlin” bird app and the joys of suddenly noticing starlings, to the internet’s most divisive question: do you actually wash your legs in the shower, or do you let the water handle it? 

We finish with a behind-the-scenes peek at podcast life and our listener stats, including some genuinely unexpected countries. If you’re one of the people listening from Singapore, Vietnam, or anywhere else we didn’t see coming, we’d love to hear from you. Subscribe, share the show with someone who’ll laugh at the headlines, and leave us a review so more people can find Bonus Dad Bonus Daughter.

Transcript

Welcome And Father’s Day Setup

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hello and welcome to Bonus Dad.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Bonus Daughter, a special father-daughter podcast with me, Hannah.

SPEAKER_03 0:05

And me, Davy, where we discuss our differences, similarities, share a few laughs and stories. Within our ever-changing and complex world.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Each week we will discuss a topic from our own point of view. And influences throughout the decades.

SPEAKER_03 0:18

Or you could choose one by contacting us.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Via email, Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. Links in bio. Welcome to part three of Father's Day Bonanza.

SPEAKER_03 0:29

I am sticking to the seat.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Are you? Yeah, I yeah. It's the third one. We'll stop after this. Have you you know when you have a shower?

unknown 0:36

Right?

SPEAKER_00 0:37

I I'm uh yes, I I shower regularly.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

You ever go you know like sometimes you get out of the shower and you you still you dry but you still feel wet.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yeah, that kind of clammy.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Yeah, I was that was me this morning. I was like, I could not get dry.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

It's that it's that kind of it's the muggy weather isn't we're very muggy here in the UK actually. Especially recently.

SPEAKER_03 0:55

I saw there's um that American, I can't remember his name. Uh he's the he's his name is like Demon Hunter.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Oh right.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Yeah, and he he comes to the official birth certificate name. Yeah, he's he's been to Norwich and he goes and he went to Mary Jane's chip shop in Cromer. Oh, did it? And baited it. And he loves Norwich and he says um He needs to go to Bungie. But he compares like British culture. Yes. He compares British culture against American culture and he he literally says, you know, like to all my American friends, if the Brits take you out for a drink, it's not a drink. He said you will you will wake up two days later feeling the worst you've ever been. Yeah, and he's recently just two day hangover. He's just recently done a video about the football chance on the World Cup. And I mean, I'm not football at all, right? I didn't even know the World Cup was even going on. Um, but there's there's like these videos on TikTok, and you've got the Americans all going, We're Atlanta, we will win, we're Atlanta, we will win. And then you've got the Brits going, you're a yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

But we're we're very flippant with our language. I think I think you know, we we use foul language a lot, but we don't mean it in a foul way.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

It's a term of endearment.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

It is, isn't it? It's a term of endearment. I mean, everyone on who listens to this podcast knows I've got a potty mouth. That's why we have a button for it.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

But um, but yeah, um it's it's it's just just part of our culture, isn't it? I I never used to swear. Do you remember I used to tell you off for swearing?

SPEAKER_03 2:24

Yeah, she used to tell me off for swearing.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

And then I just realised it was a great way to express myself. Yeah, it's it's great. Um, so would you like to get get on with the podcast?

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Oh,

British Banter And Swearing Culture

SPEAKER_03 2:34

yeah, we're we're now on future.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

We are on to the future, and I thought it'd be funny to kind of predict predict our future in the form of a newsletter headline.

SPEAKER_03 2:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

So this is Father's Day.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Go on. Adrian Edmondson on stage as aid in bottom when he's doing this.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Well, there's been another f up.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

I see. That's another pound in a swear jar.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Um, so this is Father's Day headline edition.

SPEAKER_03 3:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

Mad Libs.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Oh, shit in hell. Okay. Are you ready? Oh, I okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:23

You don't need your phone.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

I've got to type stuff, don't we?

SPEAKER_00 3:25

No, I'll do all the typing. You just fill in the gaps. That's fine.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Okay. Ready? Oh god, we've got to do adjectives and all the rest of it.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Uh there's no there's there's very little in this one because it's they're headlines.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

Oh, right, okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Would you like to fill in all the gaps first and then I'll say all the headlines after?

SPEAKER_03 3:40

Okay, yeah, let's do that. Which whichever's gonna be the funniest.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

I think that would be the funniest. Okay. Um, but it's up to you.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Can you name me a celebrity?

SPEAKER_03 3:48

A celebrity?

SPEAKER_00 3:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

The rock.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

Why did I think of the rock? A household object.

SPEAKER_03 3:54

A household object. A lamp.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

Uh animal.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

Dog.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Location.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

It's like mal it's mal at this, isn't it? Er location that food.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

Food?

SPEAKER_03 4:12

Food. So we get your bolognese.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Hobby?

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Hobby gaming.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Adjective?

SPEAKER_03 4:24

Adjective describing word.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:29

Uh flimsy.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Vehicle?

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Vehicle e-scooter.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Love it.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

A famous person.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

A famous person? Oh, there's just so many to choose from. Uh oh Adrian Edmondson, there you go. Already mentioned him before.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Verb.

SPEAKER_03 4:54

Verb fly.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Number?

SPEAKER_03 5:00

Four thousand seven hundred and sixty-two.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Animals?

SPEAKER_03 5:04

That was very specific specific. Animals plural, so monkeys. Job. Job uh chimney sweep.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

Food.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

Pizza.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

Country.

SPEAKER_03 5:25

Country. Um Madagascar.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Body part. That's perfect. Colour?

SPEAKER_03 5:38

Colour no.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Celebrity again.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Oh celebrity um. David Hennan.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Household item.

SPEAKER_03 5:54

Household item? Shelf.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Sport?

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Football. Well cut's on after all.

SPEAKER_00 6:02

Adjective.

SPEAKER_03 6:03

Adjective. Broken.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

Animal.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

McCaw.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

I don't even know how to spell that.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

M-A-C-A-W. Oh, should we just talk about my bird app?

Filling The Mad Libs Prompts

SPEAKER_00 6:21

Yeah. Go on then. Should I fill in some of these myself?

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Yeah, if you want to, yeah. Well no, because well the So you you laughed at me yesterday and you said that was definitely over 50 because I have a Merlin bird app now after seeing it on Clarkson's farm. And it's great. You can like put uh you can hear what birds are around. We've got starlings, pigeons, and sparrows.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

It's so over 50s, it's unreal.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Yeah, but it's it's really do you know what? It's actually quite cool. Anyway, any more for me?

SPEAKER_00 6:50

Number?

SPEAKER_03 6:51

Number seven superhero? Superhero. Oh the flash.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Random one.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

I know.

SPEAKER_00 7:02

Household chore.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

House washing up.

SPEAKER_00 7:07

A place.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

A place.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Animal?

SPEAKER_03 7:15

Hard bark.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

A mm movie title.

SPEAKER_03 7:19

A movie title. Good luck, have fun, don't die. Brilliant film.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Uh object?

SPEAKER_03 7:28

An object? Uh hair straighteners.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Very topical.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Use what's in the room.

SPEAKER_00 7:34

Yeah, famous person.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

Famous person. Another fun. Uh Kate Beckinsale.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

Kate Beckinsale.

SPEAKER_03 7:41

See, I went from David Tenner before and I thought David Tenner, Michael Sheen, Kate Beckinsale. Do you see the connection there?

SPEAKER_01 7:47

Food?

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Food?

SPEAKER_00 7:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

Uh garlic bread.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Uh profession.

SPEAKER_03 7:55

Profession? IT technician.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Animals?

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Animals. Yeah, plural. Animals. Antelope.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

Antelopes. Object?

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Object. Webcam.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Another object?

SPEAKER_03 8:12

Brush.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Amount of money.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Amount of money? One billion pounds.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

One billion.

SPEAKER_03 8:22

Yeah, that Elon Musk, now a trillionaire.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_03 8:25

It's a joke, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Yeah. Object?

SPEAKER_03 8:27

Object object a plastic panda.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Household item.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

Uh knife and fork.

unknown 8:38

Knife and fork?

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Uh one animal?

SPEAKER_03 8:41

One animal, a cow.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Oh gosh. Sorry, I can't type. Ridiculous topic.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Ridiculous topic?

SPEAKER_00 8:49

Yeah. This podcast.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

Ridiculous topic.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Difficult one, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 8:56

Yeah. Philosophy.

unknown 9:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Not sure if that'll fit enough. Food.

SPEAKER_03 9:04

Food. Burgers.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Celebrity.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Celebrity. Let's go. Liam Hemsworth.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

I'm surprised Ryan Seacrest hasn't come up. What in the name of Ryan Seacrest?

SPEAKER_03 9:20

Curling.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

Curling. Animal.

SPEAKER_03 9:24

Octopus.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Octo. Octopus.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

Oh, you know um, been watching Resident Alien.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:31

Number 42 is Nathan Fillian. He's an octopus in that.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

Whereas his yeah, his Nathan Fillian voices it.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

Um why is he called number 42?

SPEAKER_03 9:40

He's a chef's special.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

So this one you need to come up with an adjective and a noun.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

An adjective and a noun.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Yeah, as the same word.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

As the same word. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Like, well, not same word, but uh together. I think they follow one from each other, so maybe.

SPEAKER_03 9:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Like a slippery snake, for example.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Yeah, I was gonna say flaky bread.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Flaky bread. Love it. Uh uh and number in pounds.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

Number in pounds, £1.36.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

I'm just gonna have to go with £1.36 to that work. That's fine. Uh job.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

Job. Are we just going around in circles now?

SPEAKER_00 10:15

No, I promise they're different.

SPEAKER_03 10:16

Fighter pilot.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Fighter pilot. Okay. Uh common object.

SPEAKER_03 10:22

A common object. Um iPhone.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

Yeah, what?

SPEAKER_00 10:26

A random object.

SPEAKER_03 10:27

A random clapper board.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

A clapper board.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Number 72.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Objects?

SPEAKER_03 10:38

Objects. Paper plates.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Paper plates. And a place.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

And a place. Uh Hemsby.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Uh another adjective noun.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Another adjective noun.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:53

Broken record.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

And another last one adjective noun.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

Floppy disc.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Lovely. Right. Are you

Reading The Future News Headlines

SPEAKER_00 11:04

ready for the future headlines of bonus dad, bonus daughters? Okay. You ready?

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Go for it.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Hannah becomes famous after accidentally hitting the rock with a lamp.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

We did ask you last time, would you like to be famous for doing something mildly embarrassing? And you said no.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Yeah, well, here we are.

SPEAKER_03 11:21

There we are. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

How do you feel about that headline?

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Uh I don't blame you really.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

I'd he's a nice guy.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

I'd twat him with a lamp as well.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Why would you twat him with a lamp? The rock is lovely.

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Yeah, but he's yeah, well.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

No? Is he not?

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Why don't that just be fun to then have him chase you?

SPEAKER_00 11:38

He's he's he's like He's Moana.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Moana, yeah. He does actually seem quite like a like a likable kind of guy.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Yeah, I don't want to hit him with a lamp.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

You don't want to hit him with a lamp.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

It would be an accident, and I'm pretty certain he'd find it funny.

SPEAKER_03 11:49

Yeah, yeah. If you could do it like WWE ring, that sort of thing, where you could like image now of you just on top of the rock on top of the thingy with the rock in the middle, just little old you with a lamp.

SPEAKER_00 12:02

Should I make that the thumbnail? Yes. I might have to use AI, unfortunately. Um, so this one's quite nice. Yeah. Davy goes viral after rescuing a dog from Thetford.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

Well, most people have to be rescued from Thetford, to be fair.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Hannah retires early after inventing competitive spaghetti bolognese gaming.

unknown 12:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Neighbours concerned after Davy flimsies flimsy e-scooter appears in the garden. Adrian Edmondson personally thanks Hannah for teaching them how to fly.

SPEAKER_03 12:42

You're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome, Aide.

SPEAKER_00 12:45

Davy accidentally adopts 4,762 monkeys.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Accidentally. That's clicking buy now instead of add to basketball on Amazon.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

With the quantity way up. You press the minus arrow to get to the end. How many monkeys they have? Hannah leaves her career to become the world's first chimney sweep, specializing in pizza.

SPEAKER_03 13:09

Mmm.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

Lovely. Chimney, I guess like a pizza chimney oven.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Yeah, yeah, that would work. So you yeah, clean the clean the pepperoni off the inside of the chimney. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Tourism to Madagascar explodes after Davy's knee becomes a national attraction.

SPEAKER_03 13:28

Well, you can kind of yeah, I yeah, can kind of see that.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Scientists baffled as Hannah Turns prematurely mauve after meeting David Tennant.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

Well basically that she could be quite embarrassed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

It's David Tennant.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Yeah. It's like what Veruca Salt in Willie Wonka.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get you, I get you. Oh no, it's um the other one. It's the blueberry one. Yeah. Um Violet Bow regard?

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Violet, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Um Davy wins Olympic gold using only a shelf and a football. A broken macraw is elected mayor after def defeating Davy in a landslide.

SPEAKER_03 14:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

Hannah purchases London Eye and converts it into a romanticy library. Oh. I I filled in that one.

SPEAKER_03 14:19

Yeah, I got yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Davy survives entirely on rum and coke for seven days.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

Throwback. Throwback.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

I thought we'd cover it in. Hannah joins forces with the Flash to eliminate washing up forever. Yes, Flash.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

Oh he cleaned every one of us.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

He cleaned every dish. Flash. And it's a um flash is the actual it's a cleaning product in the UK as well. That works.

SPEAKER_03 14:53

That does work quite well.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

It's good, it's good, it's good. Family shocks as Davy relocates to bedroom with his pet Ardvark.

SPEAKER_03 15:01

I have questions.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

I have questions. Beastie Ellen. Let's not go there. Um Hannah's autobiography, Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die, and the Mystery of The Hair Straighteners becomes a best seller.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

That is such a good film. Good luck, have fun, don't die. Loved it. Absolutely loved it.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Kate Beckinsell names a new garlic bread after Davy. The whale's bread. Hang on, let's let's try and think of try and think of something. What'd she call it after you? What's what's garlic got to do with whales?

SPEAKER_03 15:36

No, there isn't. I'm thinking humpback, blue, sperm.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:44

Pilot. Uh what's the type of whales? Can you get whale shark? I think we better move on, really. Um Hannah. Did you uh do you know in weapons? Film Weapons, I watched that the other night. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It did it at the back, it said um at the very first scene at the back of the classroom, it said the wonderful world of whales. Cute. And I thought, ah, that's that is you.

SPEAKER_00 16:05

Hannah becomes the world's leading IT technician for antelopes. I reckon they need it. I need they need the help. And I'm happy to be that one.

SPEAKER_03 16:15

Well, it's because they haven't got opposable thumbs. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

Poor antelopes.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

Davy's greatest invention combines a webcam and a brush.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

To be

Hair Brushes And Shower Debates

SPEAKER_03 16:26

fair, I have used a brush as a mic stand before, so it's not far off.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

I feel like it's it's like a get ready with me situation. The webcam, the webcam is the brush.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

It wouldn't be a very long episode, would it?

unknown 16:38

No.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Get ready with me, 30 seconds, we're done.

SPEAKER_00 16:44

You yeah. Do you even brush your hair?

SPEAKER_03 16:46

No, I haven't brushed my hair in years. I don't even own own a brush or a comb.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Well, mum has.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Fingers do that.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

Fingers. Fingers.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

Because just wash my hair and then just works in it and just fingers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:58

Do you um do you wash your legs?

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Oh, do you know what? This has been going around a lot, hasn't it, on the internet?

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:05

I can't say I so I shave my legs, which I feel like they get washed in that process. Yeah. But I don't physically go and r scrub the legs. Unless, of course, I was after running or something like that. Like I've got mud all up my legs. But no, I do just kind of let the water do its work. Yeah. But I do shave quite often, so I guess they get washed then.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Yeah, because I do wash at start at the top down.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Armpits groin, and they're like the problematic area.

SPEAKER_03 17:32

Yeah, by the time you get to there, you're sort of like the soap's already kind of running down your legs anyway. But I did think this. I thought my legs do get neglected a bit in the shower.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

I do my feet. Yeah, I was gonna say I I I I wash my feet and then the underside of my feet, but my legs themselves probably not, not really.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

But then again, like can anyone say that they actually wash their back because it's so difficult.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

I kind of squeeze the sponge at the top of my back like that, and I do try and get behind. Oh, you do. See, I don't even go to that effort.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

I just I just let the water flow. Yeah, yeah, no, I I don't wash my legs when I maybe I maybe I should. Um

More Headlines And Running Gags

SPEAKER_00 18:10

Hannah shocks the nation after spending one million one billion pounds on a plastic panda.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

Big as this thing, it's like rubber duckazilla.

SPEAKER_00 18:21

Yeah, a massive plastic panda.

SPEAKER_03 18:23

Yeah. You know the fool on the hill, Rio de Janeiro? The Christmas replace it with a panda.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Poor panda. Davy attempts to fix a knife and fork, results in the creation of a cow sanctuary.

unknown 18:38

What?

SPEAKER_00 18:40

You filled in the gaps. Experts confirm that Hannah is now the world's leading authority on philosophy. See, it did work out. I'm glad you picked that particular topic.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

Davy wins a lifetime supply of burgers after defeating Liam Hemsworth in a curling competition.

SPEAKER_03 18:59

To be fair, for a lifetime supply of burgers, Liam's going down.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Local residents stunned as an octopus moves into Hannah's bedroom and refuses to leave.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

It's stuck to the walls.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

What am I doing with an octopus in my bedroom?

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Oh, the boys, the deep.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

He went there.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

I do not. I did not have sexual relations with an octopus.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

That's a Vicky Walk like book, I'm sure it would be.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Romantic. Uh Hannah's latest business venture, Flaky Bread, is valued at 1.36 million.

SPEAKER_03 19:46

Well, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

Flaky Bread. Flaky Bread. Yeah. Flaky. Uh Davy finally achieves his lifelong dream of becoming a fighter pilot despite having no relevant qualifications. Accurate. World leaders gather to discuss Hannah's controversial plan to replace the iPhone with a clapperboard.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

Oh, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 20:09

Yeah, that was. Archaeologists discussed. How would you do that?

SPEAKER_03 20:13

So instead of like talking on the iPhone, you you'd write like Morse code.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

By the way, I've only got uh I've only got three left.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Archaeologists discover that Davy has been secretly hiding 72 paper plates in Hemsby for decades. Why? Only 72 paper plates.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

That's you need no more, no less.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

In Hemby?

SPEAKER_03 20:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Why?

SPEAKER_03 20:35

Because that is the place.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

That's where you're hiding these plates? Yeah. What what do you need 72 paper plates for? Are they saying that?

SPEAKER_03 20:41

In case you have a beach barbecue and you get 72 people, because 72 people is the just the right amount for the bigger.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

But it sounds like these paper plates are a bit more than paper plates if you've been hiding them for decades.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

Well they keep coming back out. It's like we're having lots of barbecues.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Oh, they're reusable paper plates. They're reusable paper. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Yeah, because when you put them back into the sand, the sand cleans them.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

I see.

SPEAKER_03 21:01

You see, they pull them back out for 72 of my cult, I mean sorry, friends to come round and then we can like um sacrifice, I mean, have a barbecue on the beach.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

I I regret saying that I'm gonna go to the beach with you later.

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Yeah, so there's 72 people are entering a cult. I need 72 people specifically, and it's yeah. Okay. There are robes involved, and there are robes and there are paper plates.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Dry robes.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

Dry robes, there's chanting.

SPEAKER_00 21:28

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

There's chanting, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:30

We built this city. No. Satan is lord. Satan is lord. Is that um The Dream Eaters? Dream Eaters. I was supposed to be Death Eaters, though. Yeah.

unknown 21:41

Death Eaters.

SPEAKER_00 21:43

In a surprise turn of events, Hannah and Davy become famous worldwide for their broken record podcast.

SPEAKER_03 21:49

Yeah, we do say some things quite often a lot. Yeah. The same thing over and over again.

SPEAKER_00 21:53

At least it makes us famous.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

By the way, I think we did tell the Fleetwood Mac story twice.

SPEAKER_00 21:57

Did we?

SPEAKER_03 21:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Well, I was mixed up.

SPEAKER_03 22:00

I'm sure we've told this story twice. We didn't. Ah damn. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Sorry, people. We've I do forget what we talk about on this podcast a lot.

SPEAKER_03 22:08

Well, it's because we do we talk like this all the time anyway.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Yeah, and then and like I'll I'll be with a friend like Vic, for example. She'll be like, Oh, I didn't know that about you. And I was like, How do you know that? She's like, Your podcast. I was like, Oh yeah, did I say that on the podcast? Like, I always forget. Um, this is the last one. The last one, okay. Yeah. After years of success, Hannah says none of it would have been possible without her floppy disc of a dad. Oh. Which means that you are the most useless piece of memory that we have at our disposal that's not even used anymore now.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Um so much so they've even changed the name to the save icon.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Yeah. You floppy disc. Well, what on the earth of uh uh what in the name of Ryan Seacrest was that?

SPEAKER_03 22:53

I

Gifts, Solstice, And Time Theories

SPEAKER_03 22:54

don't know.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

Did you enjoy that one?

SPEAKER_03 22:56

I did enjoy that one as a headline one. I do like mad libs. We can do mad libs again on our birthday.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

We probably will. I just thought this was this was funny about future. I i I struggled with future the most because like, what can we talk about that? Like rather than predicting the future, I was like, ah, future heavy.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

You're actually quite, you know, I'm actually impressed with what you come up with for these three episodes.

SPEAKER_00 23:12

Thanks. They weren't uh incredibly long, I'm afraid.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

I know, but you should write some more.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Should I?

SPEAKER_03 23:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

I don't have many ideas that come to me.

SPEAKER_03 23:20

We've honestly, I've got when I look at the type of the other episodes that we've got, yeah, we've got so many that so I I've written the other DD episode, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Ooh, what what following on from Logan?

SPEAKER_03 23:36

Following on from Logan.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

We need a recap.

SPEAKER_03 23:38

Yeah, need a recap. And then I've actually can you do like uh previously on yeah previously on Supernatural. Uh yeah, I've got there's there's loads on here.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Here's what you missed on Glee.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

God, that was shite. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:53

That were I didn't like it started off as a really good concept.

SPEAKER_00 23:59

I was talking about Glee the other day with Becca because we were saying um Don't Stop Believing was kind of ruined by Glee. Yeah, like it's a great song, but it's just just Glee kind of took it over.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

Yeah, it But Jenny has done some cracking songs. I mean, um separate ways. Brilliant song. Especially the daughtery Lizzie Hill version.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

Oh really good. Really, really good. Really daughtery and Lizzie Hill.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Um did you enjoy your Father's Day gift?

SPEAKER_03 24:24

I did enjoy my Father's Day gift, yes. I thought it was a bit random. No, that's awesome. But that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

It's just a bit different. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:31

I like it. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 24:32

And you got some stickers and these are quite cute, I thought.

SPEAKER_03 24:35

Oh, that's like a little hengy thing.

SPEAKER_00 24:37

Yeah, I uh it just came with the stuff I think.

SPEAKER_03 24:40

It looks like winter solstice.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

Oh, actually, that's tomorrow, in it. Is it tomorrow? No, can't be. It is not winter solstice, summer solstice.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Oh, summer solstice. So it's the longest day of the year tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

That's come around quick.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

So the nights are gonna start getting darker again.

SPEAKER_03 24:55

Yeah, but remember, you only really notices when the clocks go back and forth. That's when you really notice it. So it will it won't be till October that it really starts to like kind of go a little bit dark again.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

Summer is over.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

Why do we still do that?

SPEAKER_00 25:09

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 25:10

Hannah Fry did something on clocks.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

She did, she did, and it was basically for no for apparently a guy who just liked to play golf.

SPEAKER_03 25:18

Really?

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Yeah, if you listen to the whole video, she was like, there are several reasons why this might happen, and one of them could be this guy wanted to play golf in the time.

unknown 25:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

Have you heard that theory talking about time that, and I can't remember, I might get this completely wrong, that we're actually there's like a few hundred years missing where we don't think they actually where some people don't think they actually happened, like in the Middle Ages. There's a chunk of history which is so kind of sparse that they think we're actually in like the seventeen hundreds. The dark ages. Yeah, some we're actually in like the 1700s instead of like the yeah, about 300 years missing.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Oh no. Are we gonna keep the year as it is?

SPEAKER_03 25:59

Yeah, apparently so. I mean it doesn't really matter.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

No, it's just a number.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

It's just a number, isn't it? It's just uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:04

That's how we'd work out how many times we've been around the sun, I suppose.

SPEAKER_03 26:07

Time is relative.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Time is relative.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth, you put it on your finger, then another finger, then another cigarette. They have bowie song. I see changes.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

I see changes. Changes.

SPEAKER_03 26:24

And these children that you spit on as they try to change their world are immune to your consultation. They're quite aware of what they're going through. Changes. I remember Bloody Bowie's lyrics.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Yeah. Which one did you enjoy the most? Past, present, or future? Um, I like them all equally. That's really shit.

SPEAKER_03 26:43

No, but they were all they I know, but they were all fun. I mean, I like the the first episode was really good fun because that was like testing my knowledge on you. And the second episode was really fun because I was absolutely shite at it.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

You literally wrote those lyrics.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

I literally wrote all of those lyrics. And sing them. And sing them, sung them many, many times. That's why it's because it's just it is literally just like muscle memory.

SPEAKER_00 27:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Muscle memory when I'm when I'm on stage singing. Yeah. Mm-hmm. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

I thought you could just I I brought that to the present because I thought, oh, that's it's it's like current you, but then I brought in some of your oldies and yeah, your writing is good. Yes. Uh there you go. Um, and then uh obviously mad libs.

SPEAKER_03 27:25

Yes, I like mad libs as well. Mad libs is always good fun. It is good fun.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

I always worry that the start of mad libs is always a bit like just me shouting out.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

No, it is because I must admit, so when I do the audio thing, although I didn't have to do it too much today because there weren't many pauses, but when we often do mad libs, there's often great big pauses while we're thinking of adjectives and verbs and cut all those little dead air spaces out.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Yeah. So you did it quite quick today.

SPEAKER_03 27:48

Yeah, today I don't think I'll need to do much cutting today.

SPEAKER_00 27:50

No.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

Because that's my only worry when you say mad libs, like, oh shit, I can't do all that dead air cutting now, but no.

SPEAKER_00 27:55

We're okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:56

Yeah, that was quite good.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Future headlines.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Wonderful. Shall we? I know it's a little bit early on the podcast, but maybe we can just uh let these people go and have the good rest of their day. Make it a short one.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

Yeah. Oh, actually, just one one quite quick thing. So

Listener Stats And Global Shout Outs

SPEAKER_03 28:12

people were like, oh, thank god for that. So I looked at our stats. Did I tell you? No, no, you can. Did you know what I'd tell you about this? About Anja.

SPEAKER_00 28:20

Oh, the power.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

So Anja was in Poland, right? She listened to our podcast and she messaged me and said, look at your stats to say that she'd listened in Warsaw, and Poland didn't come up. And it still hasn't come up for when she said she was listening in our stats. So I don't think our stats are correct.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Perhaps not.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

So when I look at the We have nothing else to go on, so yeah, we've got yeah, we've got nothing else. But the funny thing is, is that our country top two countries, obviously United K and United Kingdom, which is us, hello, uh, and the United States.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Hello, US friends. There's a lot of Singapore. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

Singapore. If you are listening, shout out to Singapore.

SPEAKER_00 29:02

If you are listening from Singapore, please get in touch with us and and comment on our videos and stuff because uh we are so shocked by this. We did not know that people from Singapore were listening to us. Yeah. We've said it in a couple of like the roundup um episodes in the past at Christmas time and stuff like that. Uh who are you guys? Like awesome. Like uh I hope you're enjoying. So I'm listening to us. I'll I'll read the top ten countries. I mean top ten countries.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

So UK, United States, Singapore, Vietnam.

SPEAKER_00 29:29

See, that's a random one as well. We don't know anyone in Vietnam. So these are you know random listeners. Like, thanks.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

Australians.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Do we know any Australians?

SPEAKER_03 29:38

I've got family over. Well, I've got family in New Zealand.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Yeah, okay. Hello, Australians.

SPEAKER_03 29:43

Canadian Canadian Canadian Canadia? Canadia, Canada, Canada, Germany, Germany, Spain, Ireland, France, Brazil, Greece, Ukraine, Bangladesh, Iraq, India, Venezuela. I've got more than ten. Argentina, Japan, big in Japan. Love Japan. Then Poland.

SPEAKER_00 30:01

Then Poland.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Then Poland. Mexico, Colombia, Netherlands, Hong Kong, Italy, South Africa, Indonesia, Ecuador, Uzbekistan, and it just goes on.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

I just can't believe people are listening to us in the east. I know. It's awesome. Thank you. Um it's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 30:15

Although Belarus, you need to sort it out. We've only had one listen in Belarus. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Tell your friends, Belarus. Tell your friends. Um yeah, and a huge shout out to all the people that um have been commenting on our recent TikToks and Instagrams. Please continue to do so. Please don't do. We're loving it. Yeah. Uh, we're loving the interaction. So thank you so, so much. I shouted out to Lorenzo on the last podcast. I'll say Lorenzo again, like thank you so much. Uh I really enjoyed your comment. And uh I guess we could just end it there.

Thanks, Socials, And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Yeah. A little bit early for us today. Uh well, if you enjoyed this episode, uh, we have plenty in the bank. Only thing left to say is cue the outro. And I didn't say um. Thanks for joining us on bonus dad, bonus daughter. Don't forget to follow us on all our socials and share the podcast with someone who'd love it. We are available on all streaming platforms. See you next time. Bye bye.