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Hannah and Davey Play 'Would You Rather'

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Have you ever laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? Join us on this episode of Bonus Dad, Bonus Daughter as we recount our latest Mad Libs adventure, filled with hilarious autocorrect mishaps and unexpected outbursts. We had a blast playing the game. The positive feedback from our listeners was overwhelming, and we read out some of the best messages that captured how much fun everyone had so we decided to play another little game, this time Would You Rather. If you need a good laugh, you won’t want to miss this one!

But the hilarity doesn’t stop there. We catch up with some personal stories, including Hannah’s recount of a hungover morning and her nostalgic trip to Drayton Manor after 14 years. From bathroom escapades to theme park thrills, our conversation is filled with humour and heart-warming moments that showcase our unique father-daughter dynamic. Whether you’re here for the laughs or the relatable life stories, this episode promises to entertain and uplift you. Tune in and join the fun!

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Davey:

Hello and welcome to Bonus Dad. Bonus Daughter a special father-daughter podcast with me Hannah and me, davy, where we discuss our differences, similarities, share a few laughs and stories. Within our ever-changing and complex world, Each week we will discuss a topic from our own point of view and influences throughout the decades or you could choose one by contacting us via email, instagram, facebook or TikTok links in bio.

Hannah:

Hello and welcome to another episode of Bonus Dad, bonus Daughter. We are going to do a little game today.

Davey:

We are because we played Mad Libs and we got loads of positive comments about it. People really enjoyed it, thought it was really funny.

Hannah:

Well, I think it was because you misspoke slash autocorrect issue. That was funny, I have had so many messages about that.

Davey:

I did.

Hannah:

And this is us genuinely having a lot of messages. I know we sometimes say, oh, we joke about all of our thousands and thousands of followers. We genuinely had so many messages after that episode come out. Obviously, I hope no one was offended by the language used.

Davey:

I don't think anyone could have been offended. It was a genuine mistake, but you know it was so. Like you say, I've had messages Just laughing emojis, just like kind of what was that?

Hannah:

I think you cut out a lot of my laughing in the studio. I did yeah, because I don't think. I could breathe for at least 10 minutes.

Davey:

It went on. That actual section went on for some time Because with the editing, actually with that episode, I will just say that that was one of the most difficult episodes to edit, because it might have sounded that we were quite snappy with the adverbs and the nouns and the adjectives, but we weren't, but we really weren't. No, there was some clever editing there to try it, because there was a lot of dead space.

Hannah:

We just really shit at coming up with random words apparently. It's a skill that I thought I had, but I do not possess.

Davey:

There was lots of what's an adjective, what's a noun, what's an adverb, so I made it sound a little bit more intelligent than what we actually were.

Hannah:

Yeah, which is fine. More intelligent than what we actually were, yeah, which is fine.

Davey:

They don't need to know that, no, no, well, they do. Now they kind of know because we've just said it, but before we do, before we do kind of say what game we're going to do and how we're going to do it we've got any life updates.

Hannah:

Life updates. This morning I'm pretty hungover.

Davey:

You are pretty hungover. I mean you were supposed to quarter past nine. At nine o'clock I got a we're running late message yeah, I got it to you at half past yeah, it wasn't that late, though was it well?

Hannah:

it's not good for me. I'm normally more punctual yes, yeah and yeah.

Davey:

You came in and just went straight to the loo as well yep and yeah straight to the loo yeah, it's quite funny because you said as well. You said I don't like using the loo in other people's houses, but just come sauntering into ours and use our oh, yeah, I decimated the pan.

Hannah:

I'm not gonna lie, I've been holding that in for a while, hannah. Decimation, yeah, decimation. So what have you been up to, hannah? Anything other than other than that huge shit in your toilet? Yeah, nothing really. No, just been banging about, I guess. Yeah, yeah, what went wrong? Oh shit, no, actually I have been to a theme park.

Davey:

You did, didn't you? Yes, and what did you do?

Hannah:

Went to Drayton Manor that was fun. I think it had been. I've worked out roughly 14 years since I'd been previously.

Davey:

Really Was that.

Hannah:

I think I went when I was 14.

Davey:

Really, Bloody hell.

Hannah:

Yeah, now I'm obviously 28. 28, yeah, maths, maths.

Davey:

You're not very good at maths, because we just had a maths incident in the car, didn't we? We did, yes, yeah.

Hannah:

I was trying to work out how old I would be to have a university student starting this year, but I figured I'd have to be 34 if the legal age of consent being 16 in the UK.

Davey:

Exactly yeah.

Hannah:

And I'm 28, so I've got four years left until they go to university.

Davey:

But you haven't got a secret. But I haven't actually got one you haven't got like a secret love child anywhere like Dave Grohl.

Hannah:

Not to my knowledge. Oh yeah, since that dropped, he's got another confession to make.

Davey:

Oh Like it Like it. Yeah, yeah, bless him. The nicest man in rock has got a love child. Yeah, that's a pretty big life update for him, isn't it? Yeah, and for his entire family, I think.

Hannah:

Can you imagine he must have found out? Well no, they've been born. It's not like they've been alive for a while.

Davey:

They've just been born as well. Yeah, yeesh, so yeah, but we're going to be doing something this weekend, aren't we? Yes, we're going to be doing something this weekend, aren't we?

Hannah:

Yes, we're going to a gig.

Davey:

We're going to go and see a gig. Who are we going to go and see?

Hannah:

Youth Killed it.

Davey:

We are indeed.

Hannah:

Youth Killed it. I need to get listening to their songs so I can at least sing along to Youth Killed it.

Davey:

You do indeed.

Hannah:

Jack Joel.

Davey:

Jack Joel. I'm sorry, hannah actually hasn't listened to any of your tracks.

Hannah:

No, but I am willing to participate in the festivities regardless.

Davey:

Yes excellent.

Hannah:

I will bone up on my knowledge of Youth. Killed it over the next week. Well, I'm going to another Exam at Saturday.

Davey:

Yeah, so you're going to be listening to. Youth Killed it all week getting ready for the gig.

Hannah:

That's pretty much what I'm going to do, yeah.

Davey:

And I'm going to another gig this week as well. And I'm going to another gig this week as well, aren't I? Oh, are you?

Hannah:

Yes.

Davey:

Your own, no, thursday. What are you doing Thursday? I'm going with one. Oh, yeah, yeah One. I'm going to go and see an orchestra yes, playing Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, so that's going to be very interesting. Trackage Indeed. So yeah, yeah, indeed. So yeah, yeah, I'm looking forward to that? Yes, so yeah, so we haven't really got many life updates, have we just?

Hannah:

no, no more tattoos, no more tattoos.

Davey:

I do. Oh, shall I mention? Shall I mention it? I know it was a little bit of a secret, but I am quite excited oh, go on then. I am quite excited. Go on then. Yes, so I got a message last week did you. So I got a message last week, did you?

Hannah:

I did get a message last week. I'm going to play along like I don't know.

Davey:

Okay, play along like I don't know. So, hannah, yes, I got a message last week on a group chat. No, way. Yeah, I did, yeah, yeah yeah, wow, who, what, when?

Hannah:

How?

Davey:

Well, it was from Joe.

Hannah:

Joe that.

Davey:

Joe.

Hannah:

That Joe.

Davey:

That Joe drummer in the band.

Hannah:

Yeah, go on.

Davey:

So Mammal, not Fish, are going to be playing some gigs next year. We're back, babies, we are back. Yes, we're going to be playing some gigs, indeed. So yeah, really excited about that.

Hannah:

As you should be.

Davey:

Yeah, indeed, I'm really really excited about that. But yeah, shall we crack on and play this game? So what game is it we're going to?

Hannah:

play, we're playing, would you Rather?

Davey:

Yes.

Hannah:

And I want to preface this podcast very episode brain hungover. It's related, it's related, it's related. I actually wrote these inebriated, so I hope they're funny.

Davey:

Yeah, so the game is basically we're going to give each other an option. It's like, would you rather have this or would you rather have that? And we've got to explain why yes?

Davey:

so I came up with the game and I gave hannah. I said hannah gets 10 questions each, and then we will ask each other. I'll ask, or hannah will ask one, then I'll ask one, and then we've got to say which one we would rather have or do, and then we've got to explain why yes, and you can tell, as mine went on, they get sillier and sillier.

Davey:

So, as I was getting more and more inebriated, so did you start writing these when you were fairly sober? And then it kind of I would say so, yeah, okay, I think that's the vibe.

Hannah:

Is that fair?

Davey:

Is that fair to say that, yeah, that's the vibe Okay, all right, do you want to go first?

Hannah:

I can go first Go on, then Go first. I think I know the answer to this one, but would you rather it always be Christmas or never, christmas at all, never.

Davey:

Christmas, I mean that's a no brainer. Yeah, never be Christmas.

Hannah:

What about, you know, christmas cheer? What about roast dinners and what about? Okay, what about roast dinners and what about?

Davey:

Okay. Okay, christmas and cheer. Yes, that's an oxymoron. Okay, as far as I'm concerned. Okay, there is no cheer at Christmas. Okay, christmas can get in the sea. We know this. Yes, as far as what was the other question you asked? You said Christmas cheer. And what was the other thing? Oh, this is going really well, isn't it? Yes, it is. You said what about?

Hannah:

Christmas cheer. And what about Roast dinners Every Sunday?

Davey:

So okay, it's a little bit more special at Christmas. Yeah, but we don't have roast dinners at Christmas. Anyway, we had a curry last Christmas. Well, that's true.

Hannah:

But also what would you do without crackers?

Davey:

I'd live without crackers. That's fine. All right, you live without crackers.

Hannah:

That's fine, all right, you're willing to forego crackers the rest of your life.

Davey:

I mean, crackers are an annoying thing anyway, aren't they? Because half the time they don't actually crack.

Hannah:

No, I suppose they do.

Davey:

Yeah, you end up just kind of yanking each other across the table. Yeah, so you end up having to put your fingers in that little, and then it kind of yeah.

Hannah:

Okay.

Davey:

Yeah, apart from those really expensive crackers, we had one year that had alcohol in them.

Hannah:

Yeah, they get behind that, I can get behind them ones. Yeah, that was good. They had little bottles of rum or little bottles of gin, didn't they?

Davey:

Yeah, yeah, they were a good choice by your mum.

Hannah:

they were I think Can I answer my own question. I think we should be Christmas or no Christmas at all. I would actually probably also go no Christmas at all Only because I feel like you don't need Christmas to spend time with your family.

Davey:

No, you don't. Also, can you imagine Christmas all the time?

Hannah:

I wish it could be Christmas. Oh my god, slade had it wrong.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

It is Slade isn't it?

Davey:

You can again. Don't get me wrong. Some people enjoy Christmas and I will never take that away from people who would like to enjoy Christmas. But can you imagine every?

Hannah:

single day. Oh my God, no, you need a break from your family. There's me saying oh, you don't need an excuse to spend time with your family, but you do need an excuse to break from your family.

Davey:

Oh my God, Can you imagine? Every single day was Christmas.

Hannah:

Go on, then your would you rather question.

Davey:

Okay, would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?

Hannah:

Oh, flying would be so cool.

Davey:

It really would, wouldn't it oh?

Hannah:

you've got to bleep that. Oh yeah, Sorry.

Davey:

You really are hungover this morning, aren't you?

Hannah:

Oh, yeah, I am not, I am not with it. I feel very tired. Flying would be cool.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

But there are a lot of things you could get away with being invisible but also are you invisible all the time well, no, are you invisible all of the time, or can you like turn it on and off?

Davey:

no, I think.

Hannah:

I think let's say you can turn it on and off and do you have to be incredibly fully naked, or do your clothes also turn invisible? I think, just for, just for giggles you'd you'd have to be fully naked but you fully control the invisibility, so you would just pop up randomly naked.

Davey:

Oh, we could go D&D. You have to roll a D20.

Hannah:

You'd have to roll a D20.

Davey:

And if you get between 10 and 20,.

Hannah:

you stay invisible Wait does the same thing apply to flying, so you could just drop out of the air.

Davey:

I hate this.

Hannah:

I'm going to go with flying, but I feel like invisibility.

Davey:

You get away with let's take the d20 out of it, let's take the dnd reference out of it and let's say yeah, you, you, you have complete control over the, over the whole situation I feel like invisibility is good if you want to go about your life quietly yeah I'm not saying like commit crimes, I'm just saying like you could slip into like a pool out of hours or something, because no one would be there.

Hannah:

So you can just use it at your own leisure. But also no one would know if you were dead, because you'd be invisible. I guess, if you drowned I'm really going on a weird tangent here you really are, aren't you? Yeah, I guess fly.

Davey:

Fly, yeah, fly without the D20. Fly without the D20.

Hannah:

So you would have complete control over it. The flying yeah.

Davey:

Yeah, okay, so you've suddenly got the ability to fly. Yes, First thing you would fly. Where would you go?

Hannah:

I mean, it depends on my durability and endurance.

Davey:

Let's say as well your flying is. You can go any speed you want to.

Hannah:

Oh yeah. Well, in that case I would definitely. There's got to be some roller coasters across the world. I haven't been to. Plus, I'd save money on flights. The only thing is, can you take your own luggage?

Davey:

How much can you carry when you fly? No, you can only carry what you normally carry.

Hannah:

I'll just go for a day trip. Then, if I can fly as fast as I possibly can, I'll just go for a day in Asia one of the parks in Asia and then just hop back. Yeah, as long as I can have a phone on me to take photos, Boom.

Davey:

Yeah, you can carry a phone. Yeah, that, yeah, yeah, okay.

Hannah:

That's where I'd go.

Davey:

Yeah, I'm the same.

Hannah:

Fly, fly.

Davey:

Definitely definitely fly.

Hannah:

I think a lot of people spend their life feeling that they're invisible anyway on a mental level.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

So I feel like a lot of people would probably choose fly.

Davey:

Yeah, yeah, flying would be cool.

Hannah:

Okay. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button for the rest of your life? Oh, so, I guess would you rather go backwards, or would you rather have the ability to?

Davey:

pause and you would age. You know you would age. Regardless, you would age, Right, okay.

Hannah:

Live a normal life. You can't pause yourself, as in.

Davey:

Yeah, I would probably go pause. Really yeah, I would probably go pause.

Hannah:

Really.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

What? But then, when you unpaused, you would be super old and everyone around you would still be young.

Davey:

Yeah, but you could pause for any number of reasons, couldn't you?

Hannah:

I feel like if you'd done something really embarrassing, you could reverse and not do that thing. That was embarrassing.

Davey:

Yeah, there is that. But also, do you imagine if you paused you could, if you, if you paused you could, you know if you're having a really boring conversation with someone, you pause time and then slip away what? And then unpause, and then you just disappear, yeah, and then you're not there anymore they've just vanished yeah, that would be comically funny yeah you could.

Davey:

Can you imagine all the fun you could have with that? So, like we were talking now, I could pause right, suddenly take the headphones off microphone and go and stand in the corner and then unpause and hello.

Hannah:

Yeah, I mean it would be good for jump scares yeah I can. I can see that. Yeah, I think I'd rather go back in time and fix a couple of things that I did wrong oh, there was a about time.

Davey:

There was an episode um in the twilight zone oh Right. And there was this lady who could do exactly that she could pause time. And what happened was was she thought it was brilliant because what she then did? She did loads of rob. She did loads of crimes, robberies and things.

Hannah:

Yeah you would be pretty rich if you paused time. She paused things.

Davey:

She would then go into a shop or pause time and rob the place.

Hannah:

No, you don't even have to rob, you don't have to do any criminal act. You can watch the lottery results reverse time.

Davey:

buy a lottery ticket and then win the lottery. That's rewind, that's rewind. I'm talking about pausing.

Hannah:

Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, okay, I feel like you could avoid the crime.

Davey:

I'm going then did is how it ended up was it was World War III and there were nuclear bombs coming over, and she paused time and when she looked up in the sky there was the bomb falling out of the sky.

Hannah:

Now what would you do in that situation? Well Move.

Davey:

Go home, get your bags, pick everything up and just move.

Hannah:

Out the way of the bomb. It's that simple. You expect that to be a really philosophical question, but I would literally just move. Okay, everyone else move. Brilliant, all right. Philosophical question, but I would literally just move.

Davey:

Okay, everyone else brilliant, all right um your turn oh, that was actually one of my questions as well oh what the pause button?

Hannah:

yeah, oh, yeah we must have looked at the same website. What?

Davey:

chat gpt. I went on a website, did you really?

Hannah:

oh, okay originally, then all the silly ones came when I was an idiot.

Davey:

Yeah, I did say list me some clean ones, and then I went make them funny oh okay, yeah, they're a bit dry. But yeah, some of these aren't funny and some of them are Right. Would you rather read minds or have the ability to predict the future?

Hannah:

On a level of privacy. I'd like to be able to predict the future. The ability for me to be able to read minds, I think would be more upsetting to me knowing what people really thought about anything.

Davey:

Yeah like, not me. There is that typically, but everything yeah I'm not sure.

Hannah:

I want to know. Ignorance is bliss okay so I am definitely going to go with predict the future you're right.

Davey:

Actually, do you know what I didn't think of? That? That is a actually another reference TV reference episode of Buffy. Ah, can you remember that? I do not. Where she? She does have the ability to read everyone's minds and she there's all that noise inside her head and she hears what people really, really think of them. Yeah, I'm not a fan about that Even the episode, once More, with Feeling is kind of that, because they sing the truth, don't they?

Hannah:

Yeah, that's true.

Davey:

And it all goes wrong.

Hannah:

Because they haven't got the mustard.

Davey:

They haven't got the mustard, but they got the mustard out. They got the mustard out and you're very mustardy today as well.

Hannah:

Yes, I'm going with the candle. Yeah, the mustard tights on.

Davey:

Nearly Halloween.

Hannah:

It is.

Davey:

Nearly Halloween. The autumn is coming, but yeah, I think I would probably go the same.

Hannah:

That's an easy one for me.

Davey:

Yeah yeah, reading minds is a bit dodge.

Hannah:

Okay, it's gone a bit weird now.

Davey:

Yeah, okay, I was worried about three drinks in.

Hannah:

Would you rather be able to talk to animals?

Davey:

but they all hate you or never talk to animals, but they all love you.

Hannah:

Oh option two yeah option two I kind of want to be able to talk to an animal to find out what they hate so much about me. Yeah, well, like what could I have possibly done if they always hate you? That's really sad. That's maybe they wouldn't want to talk to you if they hate you yeah, exactly snuggly, snuggly animals.

Davey:

Animals communicate through their eyes anyway. Think of Archie, their eyes. I can tell if Archie wants love or if he's hungry just by looking at his face, which is all the time. Generally both, all of the time. Yeah, so I'm going.

Hannah:

Option two which option are you going? I probably would go option two. It is a bit of a no-brainer. I would rather them love me, but the ability to talk to animals is high on my list of things that I would love to be able to do.

Davey:

Okay, would you rather have spaghetti for hair or maple syrup for sweat?

Hannah:

You've got a maple syrup sweat one. I've got a maple syrup sweat one. That's my next one, weird.

Davey:

Like spaghetti bolognese, or just like pasta. Yeah, like pasta, like spaghetti hair.

Hannah:

Break, so Wait, cooked or. Yeah, floppy, it wouldn't be spiky, it would be let's go, let's go spaghetti spaghetti I mean, the consistency alone is enough to like, not, but also I feel like sweating maple syrup is sticky. It is sticky, but you could just wear pancakes all the time.

Davey:

Yeah, why did I just agree with that? It's like normal.

Hannah:

Yeah, yeah, you could just slap a pancake on. Like you could have, rather than the coconut bra, step aside pancake bra.

Davey:

With two little strawberries, I think.

Hannah:

I'm going to have to go spaghetti hair. I think I'm going to have to go spaghetti hair yeah.

Davey:

I don't want to sweat maple syrup oh, can you imagine right if you're out on a really hot sunny day? Yeah, because you can't control the sweat no, and you're sweating maple syrup and then all of a sudden, there's just nothing but wasps around.

Hannah:

Okay that there's just nothing but wasps around. Okay, let me tell you my maple syrup one as well. Mine was would you rather sweat maple syrup or cry Fanta? I feel like you can control your crying better.

Davey:

Yeah, I think I would.

Hannah:

Whereas maple syrup, again, like I said, you can't control. When you sweat, that's an automated response in your body.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

So there's a part of me that would rather cry Fanta, but God, would that hurt your eyes?

Davey:

God it would, wouldn't it. It would sting like, yeah, yeah, because of the carbonated water and that, yeah, yeah, but then I don't cry because I'm heartless.

Hannah:

Of course yeah. How could I forget?

Davey:

Exactly.

Hannah:

So I'm dead inside. I think you better go next, because I derailed your maple syrup.

Davey:

Okay, alright, then Would you rather be able to control the weather or control time? So it's kind of like the previous one about pause and rewind, but this would be controlling all of time or controlling the weather.

Hannah:

I'm actually going to go weather.

Davey:

Now.

Hannah:

I have a really, really personal reason why I'd love to choose weather.

Davey:

Right when.

Hannah:

I was little. I remember if we were ever planning to go out for the day, I'd always be in bed at night. Not, I don't think pray is the right word, but I always wished I'd be like, please be good weather, please be good weather, please be good weather. So for my childish self, I would definitely choose control weather, and also weather is very dependent on the activities that I like to do.

Hannah:

I like to run, so I don't like it to be too hot and I like going to theme parks. When it's too hot at theme parks, loads of people are there. So if I could make the day overcast for all theme parks ever, but have a fairly warmish temperature you don't get any of the locals coming and you only get people that are travelling far away, don't get any of the locals coming.

Davey:

Them locals, them local yokels.

Hannah:

Yeah, so actually I'm going to go with weather Are you. I think it's way more beneficial to me than time.

Davey:

Okay, I quite like one of the things that I do like living in England, and it's one of the things that we do talk about a lot is the weather, but I do like the unpredictability of it.

Hannah:

Nah.

Davey:

I don't think I'd like to control the weather.

Hannah:

I really don't but what if you were like oh, I really want to surf today, but you couldn't. But you're like oh, let's rack up a little bit of a windy wave, yeah, but there's never.

Davey:

Yeah, I can see from that point of view, but also it'd help you out with all your hobbies. Yeah, I suppose it kind of would, but time would be Am.

Hannah:

I slowly turning you to weather.

Davey:

No, I'm still going to go with time Still going time. I'm still going time. Yeah, I'm still going time.

Hannah:

I think I had help writing this one.

Davey:

Go on. Was this, Mitchell? No?

Hannah:

Vic. I would say Vic, shout out to Vic, she helped me write the next few. Would you rather be I think I know the answer to this stuck in a crate of spiders or a crate of snakes? Well, that's option B, of course. A hundred percent, obviously. I am the opposite, because I hate snakes, isn't it? I think snakes are more likely to kill you than a spider.

Davey:

Yeah, but I would have a heart attack in a room full of spiders. I would literally go into cardiac arrest.

Hannah:

Yeah, I don't like snakes either. Yeah, a spider would just completely, you know, even Even just one spider, let alone a crate of them, that would I don't like, I wouldn't like them crawling over my body, but at least a snake, they slither and they can like. They can kill you by moving like, constrict or bite you, whereas a spider, if they're not venomous, I'm okay with that Drop me in I'm a celebrity this year.

Davey:

Okay, would you rather have a tail like a monkey or a trunk like an elephant?

Hannah:

It's got to be tail like a monkey.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

What would you do with a trunk?

Davey:

I mean, there's lots of things you could do with a trunk, loads of things you could do with a trunk. It's like an extra arm, isn't it?

Hannah:

So is a monkey tail. You'd pick stuff up with your trunk. I want a curious, curious. George didn't have a tale.

Davey:

No, he didn't.

Hannah:

I want a what's a famous monkey Jungle Book. Is there a monkey in Jungle Book?

Davey:

There's lots.

Hannah:

And the king of the, oh he's a orangutan.

Davey:

That's King Louie. Yeah, yeah.

Hannah:

What's oh?

Davey:

mate, yeah, friends, the little monkey in Friends. Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah, the famous monkey, the little monkey in Friends. The little monkey in Friends.

Hannah:

Well, no, he's not significant enough.

Davey:

He was a special type of monkey, wasn't he?

Hannah:

Are they the monkeys that wear the little hats?

Davey:

Yeah, the little In Aladdin yeah yeah, yes, I'd be Abu. Abu Abu in Aladdin.

Hannah:

Yeah, monkey tail all the way. I think I'd just more dexterity, okay. So where would? Where would the tail come?

Davey:

from yeah, no, no, I'm just trying to think what you know.

Hannah:

Clothing might be an issue no, no, no, I've just poked it at the top.

Davey:

It pokes out the top of your skirt. Yeah, or dress, or trousers, or dress, or whatever you decide to wear, or you could have a little hole. I think that would be more appropriate.

Hannah:

Oh yeah.

Davey:

Yeah, because it could be quite uncomfortable, because they're feelings and nerve endings in tails Well, I imagine.

Hannah:

So Cats have feelings in their tails.

Davey:

Yeah, they do, don't they yeah.

Hannah:

And look how stable they are. Yeah, they are. Yeah, I want a monkey tail.

Davey:

You want a monkey tail for stability.

Hannah:

Yeah, stability and dexterity.

Davey:

You do fall over a lot.

Hannah:

Yeah, I think I'd be beneficial with a tail.

Davey:

This probably could help you with your staying upright.

Hannah:

It's not going to hinder me.

Davey:

No.

Hannah:

It will help.

Davey:

Monkey tail. It is Monkey tail, it is Okay.

Hannah:

Okay, this one's a little bit unhinged. I have to say Oven mitts for arms, or cucumbers for legs. Can you imagine little oven mitts? Well, at least you'd never burn your hands.

Davey:

Or cucumbers for legs. See, it'd have to be cucumbers for legs for me.

Hannah:

Why they snap so easy.

Davey:

Yeah, but I couldn't play guitar, could I? If I had oven mitts? There's no way that I could finger the guitar.

Hannah:

True, I wouldn't be able to type on a keyboard either. I guess Exactly yeah, but then you could just get no, no, no. You could just get, like the whole eye movement, yeah.

Davey:

I can the whole eye movement.

Hannah:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, to type out your things, so that's fine, yeah. From an accessibility point of view. Yeah, I think oven mitts for hands. I think cucumbers are not a durable leg option. I don't think they are.

Davey:

I suppose cucumbers wouldn't really last very long, would they? No, and they'd rot. Yeah, your mum found a cucumber in the back of the fridge the other day. Yeah, and it was, you know, and it just basically turned to mush inside the. Oh yeah. Yeah, that was rancid I hate mush of cucumber.

Hannah:

That was absolutely rancid. Just don't last, but they do last, but you just forget about them.

Davey:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was putting cucumber in my pita bread, do you think?

Hannah:

cucumbers are the most forgotten vegetable of the salad drawer.

Davey:

Yeah, I think so.

Hannah:

I think so too. I think so.

Davey:

Yeah, because I've been putting cucumbers in my pita bread to take to work.

Hannah:

So how would you shave your legs if you had cucumber legs?

Davey:

You'd just like You'd just take a slice off, wouldn't you? Well, you wouldn't need to shave your legs because cucumbers aren't hairy.

Hannah:

Oh yeah, actually I might change my mind then.

Davey:

Yeah, you'd never have to shave your legs again.

Hannah:

Do you think they'd smell in the summer if they got hot, like a cooked cucumber? Yeah, a gherkin? Yeah, they'd just turn into gherkins.

Davey:

They'd just turn into gherkins. Maybe you could pickle them. Well, they wouldn't last that long, would they?

Hannah:

But if you pickled them, they might last longer.

Davey:

That is that option.

Hannah:

So you'd sit there in a jar of sarsens.

Davey:

Then they get all kind of bumpy, don't they?

Hannah:

I think we'd have to say that the cucumber would be fed by our bloodstream, or whatever.

Davey:

Yeah, so they'd never actually rot and perish, but oven mitts for arms is just funny. Would you still have feet?

Hannah:

You'd have little cucumber-sliced feet. Well, because the cucumbers.

Davey:

I suppose you could put like it'd be like Mr Potato Head, couldn't it? You could put like a cocktail stick in and just put some feet on the bottom and stick them in.

Hannah:

Yeah, that's true, that would work. I guess that would work.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

Would you have a knee joint with a cucumber? Because I'm not picturing that, I'm picturing like straight pin legs, no knees. You wouldn't be able ball joint in the middle.

Davey:

This has got legs.

Hannah:

This has got legs, but I'm going to go with oven mitts. It says cucumber legs, but I'm going to go with oven mitts, all right.

Davey:

Would you rather have to quack like a duck at the end of every sentence, or moo like a cow?

Hannah:

I love doing both of those things. I'm happy to take both. Do I get a million dollars if I take both?

Davey:

No.

Hannah:

Because I'd like I don't know Quack Moo, quack quack. Oh, that's more of a quack, isn't it? Quack quack, quack, quack Moo. I don't know Mooing is fun. Iack quack, quack, quack, quack, quack Moo. I don't know Mooing is fun.

Davey:

I like the quacking.

Hannah:

Quack, quack. I think I'd go moo, just because it's easier to say. I find it more there's more to it. Quack, there's more energy in that you reckon. Yeah, I'm feeling lazy.

Davey:

Moo, when you're mooing though, I see that you're mooing with your whole face.

Hannah:

That is true, your eyes are popping out as well. I was just trying to be exciting.

Davey:

Moo yeah, you've got to give it some gumpf, some gumpf, some gumpf, whack, whack, whack, whack.

Hannah:

Whack, whack Would be funny, but it sounds more like a buzzer on a quiz show. Whack, buzzer on a quiz show. Whereas a mood can be natural ish, you can only eat marshmallows or Jacob's crackers for the rest of your life.

Davey:

Oh, jacob's crackers all the way, really.

Hannah:

Yeah, they're dry.

Davey:

I'm not really a sweet person.

Hannah:

You're not a sweet person. I'm not a sweet person.

Davey:

I mean, could you put butter on the crackers?

Hannah:

I think it's. Could there be cheese involved in the crackers? No, it is marshmallows only, so you can't even toast them or anything. And then crackers only.

Davey:

Oh see, I'm still going to have to go crackers.

Hannah:

I'm going to go with marshmallow, because I think they would have more sugar, so you would be able to survive longer.

Davey:

Yeah, a cracker. I don't know what the makeup of a cracker is, but I reckon it's. I think we're looking too deeply into that, I think.

Hannah:

I think just go with taste, just go go taste alone.

Davey:

Then marshmallows for the win for me, crackers. Crackers are too dry crackers for me. All the way on that wrong, but yeah, okay, oh, this is not so. Would you rather have hiccups for the rest of your life? Or feel like you have to sneeze but unable to for the rest of your life?

Hannah:

or feel like you have to sneeze, but can't you have to sneeze but are unable to for the rest of your life? I have the exact same question. That is crazy. Really Written slightly differently.

Davey:

I've got.

Hannah:

Would you rather have hiccups every day for the rest of your life, or feel like you have to sneeze but are unable to for the rest of your life?

Davey:

Okay.

Hannah:

Hard, tough one for me.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

I life okay hard. Tough one for me, yeah. I really hate hiccups, yeah, but the thought of not being able to sneeze and relieve that sneeze. It's the worst, isn't it? Yeah, it is the worst you couldn't cope with hiccups either no so you'd be like constantly or like you can't get any words out of either of them.

Davey:

I hate both that would be a personal hell yeah either would be not cool. Absolute personal hell.

Hannah:

But honestly, just from a personal perspective, I think I'd have to go sneeze. I hate hiccups, do you? Yeah? Because mine are really violent as well. I don't get normal like cute little hiccups, I get the. The whole body jolts like I'm having a seizure.

Davey:

Nah, my whole body jolts like I'm having like a seizure, yeah, nah oh, the sneeze thing is the worst. Do you know as well? Sneezing is bad, but I don't think it's as bad as hiccups oh, you know, when you really really try and sneeze and you're going, but then some, and you're just there, you're almost there, but then someone says something and it then goes away again and you just get that pain in your nose. Yeah, oh, it's the worst, the absolute worst. Yeah, that's a personal hell, that one. Okay, absolute personal hell.

Hannah:

I'm going to go with hiccup then.

Davey:

Yeah, okay.

Hannah:

No, I'm going to go with sneeze. Sorry, I'd rather have the sneezes than the hiccups. What are you going to go for?

Davey:

I'm going to go with hiccups because the pain of the it's just no yeah.

Hannah:

Would you rather never wear socks or never wear pants as in underwear?

Davey:

Socks I think. I'd go with socks as well. Socks all the time.

Hannah:

I think, as a lady, underwear has to be there for lady things. I don't really like wearing socks anyway. However, that would mean that I wouldn't be able to wear my Doc Mountain boots because I have to have socks and Doc Mountain boots. But, maybe my feet would just get used to not being socky.

Davey:

Yeah, they would get used to it.

Hannah:

Whereas I don't think my undercarriage would ever be ready for not underwear.

Davey:

Yeah, one of the first things I do when I get home is take my socks off.

Hannah:

Yeah, that's an easy one, then we're both socks.

Davey:

And I've got gorgeous feet, as you know.

Hannah:

Ugh, less of your platypus feet. Yeah, they are nasty.

Davey:

So would you rather always have to enter rooms by announcing your name, or always do cartwheels out of rooms? Oh, okay, so coming into the room you, you have to announce yourself. Yeah, but you have to cartwheel out cartwheel out.

Hannah:

I'm definitely gonna go with announcing myself the thought of having to cartwheel out of every single room like how unprofessional if you're in a meeting you've got like a round table meeting really like yeah, we're discussing budgets and we're discussing this, and we're discussing that, and then suddenly you have to cartwheel out of the room because you need to piss, like what, oh no. And then you'd have to cartwheel out of toilets and put your hands on the floor. Clubs, no, no. I'm announcing myself.

Davey:

I am not cartwheeling out of rooms but can you imagine any situations where, as you go into that room, oh, a funeral would not be great.

Hannah:

No, it really wouldn't would it Tear lies, especially if you were late. Yeah, yeah, a funeral's not a good one. Anything that is quiet like golf. Yeah, I know, that's not technically a room.

Davey:

Have you ever seen the it crowd? No okay when there's a scene where matt berry walks into the church and his father has died and he gets the. Uh, it's when he gets gets given the company over, but he walks in. You know who matt berry is no you know it's from what we do in the shadows. It's really, really funny. Loads of people do impressions of him. He's got the. He's got the best line delivery.

Hannah:

Okay.

Davey:

And he walks into the church in this white suit and he stands there and he kind of grabs his hand in the air and just goes Father, and that's how you would have to do it. Okay, you would have to walk into the room every single room. Hand in the air, bring it down like a power. Air grab, hannah. Every single room. Hand in the air, bring it down like a power air grab.

Hannah:

I mean, there are only certain situations where that wouldn't be appropriate, so I'm still going to go with that.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

Yeah.

Davey:

I'm happy to take the fall. Yeah, okay, we'll go with that one. I'm the same. I'm not really one for cartwheels. I'm not built for cartwheels.

Hannah:

I've never even tried to imagine you doing a cartwheel and I don't think I actually can.

Davey:

I used to be able to do it when I was younger can you?

Hannah:

yeah, really, yeah. Oh, what secret gymnast over here. Yeah, no, I don't believe that for a second. I need photographic evidence. I was a dancer, remember? Oh, yeah, you were exactly pam's house.

Davey:

yeah, yes, but yeah, I couldn't do a cartwheel. No, okay, absolutely not.

Hannah:

This is my last one.

Davey:

Okay.

Hannah:

Would you rather be covered in scales or covered in fur? Ooh, I don't think you'd smell covered in scales, by the way, Like you wouldn't be fishy is what I'm trying to say.

Davey:

Oh right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hannah:

Just like a scaly skin or fur.

Davey:

When you say fur, it would be like cousin it. I'm talking like Wookie like Wookie, I was then going to try and do it.

Hannah:

I thought you were, but then I saw you stop yourself and I'm very glad you did. Nothing makes me laugh more than that woman that has the the Chewbacca back a mask.

Davey:

She'd back a mask. Oh, that's her best, isn't it?

Hannah:

She's just laughing at herself, yeah.

Davey:

And then, because it's laughing, that is by far the best, oh just, it's just yeah. Yeah, now I think I would. I don't see scales is yeah, actually scales?

Hannah:

I knew you'd say that because you're like swim orientated, yeah water, I would definitely be fur. Yeah yeah, I want to keep warm.

Davey:

Yeah. Imagine being able to just go out all furry. Okay, let's just end on that.

Hannah:

Moving on. Would you like to do your last one?

Davey:

My very, very last one. I have a feeling, oh God, my eyes are going funny. I said this early on this morning, so yeah, my you drove here, what? No, because I wear contact lenses. For some reason, my near sight is starting to go off because the contact lenses if I don't wear contact lenses, I can read things perfectly. But yeah, my eyes are going a little bit yeah an old.

Hannah:

Okay, they buy focals I think I do. That's terrible I think, I think, I do yeah.

Davey:

Okay, okay. Would you rather have a pet dragon or a pet unicorn?

Hannah:

Oh, dragon Dragon. Yeah, if you want a unicorn, just get a horse and strap a comb to its head. I wonder what you? Were doing with this, then Well, if you want a unicorn as a pet, just get a horse. I'm sorry, it's just easy. A dragon Hell. Yeah, they fly right, they breathe fire, so you can always have a campfire whenever you want it. You can fly across the world. I'm pretty certain they can hold some luggage as well, so I can still get to my Asian rollercoaster parks.

Hannah:

I don't know why Asia is on my head today. I just really want to go there for roller coaster parks. It's like I can't get it out of my brain. It's stuck and I need to go. Dragon how cool.

Davey:

A cool dragon, yeah, yeah.

Hannah:

But one that I can. I assume they're friendly and you can control them.

Davey:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How big would you want this thing to get, though, and what would you feed it?

Hannah:

People. Unfortunately, my head went to sheep Like full on, sean, full on.

Davey:

Sean the sheep. Yeah, can you remember that day you realised what lamb was?

Hannah:

I do. Well, I don't know if I remember the day or whether we talk about the story so often that I think, I remember the day.

Davey:

Yeah, I didn't realise that's what the day would be. So the dragon would only eat sheep, not lamb. Mutton Mutton. It would eat mutton Mutton.

Hannah:

A well-established sheep.

Davey:

On its way out.

Hannah:

On its way out.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

It would be. It would have to be a carnivore, I feel.

Davey:

Yeah, I think A dragon's a carnivore. I can't imagine dragons living on a salad.

Hannah:

I guess a unicorn would be great if you're vegan, because they eat hay, presumably.

Davey:

Also unicorns as well, because they've got that big old spike thing in their head. Horn, Horn, that's the word I'm looking for Spike thing They've turned so metal in your head.

Hannah:

I know Unicorns and their spikes.

Davey:

Yeah, there's a bit of a danger there isn't there.

Hannah:

Well, yeah, but so are narwhals Narwhals. How are narwhals like?

Davey:

an actual the unicorns of the sea.

Hannah:

Well, how are they real? They are real how are they not mythical? Well, they are. Look that is a mythical creature. No, no, that's real. I Look that is a mythical creature. No, no, that's real. I know they're real, but they look mythical, like a giraffe. How does that exist? A giraffe, yeah. How is a unicorn with a horn considered mythical?

Davey:

but a giraffe exists, well you never know, they could have existed at some point. Maybe you know, because animals have gone extinct and centaurs, centaurs. They could have been Griffins, they could have been.

Hannah:

Griffins are just a big bird. I'm sure that existed at some point.

Davey:

I mean owlbears. Can you imagine an owlbear? Can you imagine?

Hannah:

coming across an owlbear, Although a bear with feathers does not seem like a thing that would be beneficial to evolution adaptation.

Davey:

A bear with feathers.

Hannah:

Yeah, why would that be? Because of what an owlbear is. Yeah, owlbear is yeah so.

Davey:

Yeah, but it's got an owl's head, doesn't it?

Hannah:

Oh, it does have an owl's head.

Davey:

Yeah, it has an owl's head. It's the body of a bear, but the head of an owl.

Hannah:

I haven't really thought about an owlbear that way. I've just thought of them as feathery bears.

Davey:

I look at them quite a lot. You really are yes. Well, is that? That's it, that's all ten questions.

Hannah:

Is that our conclusion? That's the conclusion. You still want one of my questions. I did still want your questions Did you want to use one of mine. No, are you sure? No? Unless, it's a particularly funny one that you can find very quickly. End, the show on.

Davey:

End the show on Last one. Yeah, have to wear a giant giant, a giant. Would you rather have to wear a giant chicken suit every day or only communicate by barking like a dog?

Hannah:

barking like a dog is so difficult every day for the rest of your life, every day.

Davey:

That's the only way you could communicate nah chicken suit all the way. Always wear a chicken suit, no matter what it was what the occasion was oh my god, here we it was, you have to wear a chicken suit, can you imagine wearing a chicken suit to a funeral? I've seen people running chicken suits, so I'm okay with that so would you rather have to wear a chicken suit every single day, a giant chicken suit? I mean, this thing is massive.

Hannah:

Yeah right, massive, massive chicken suit yeah, I want to be able to still communicate or would you like to communicate like a dog, like by barking, like a dog? No, the barking like a dog is just no, no, it's too extreme.

Davey:

Yeah.

Hannah:

How could you communicate anything, feelings, danger, anything Danger? Well, yeah, don't cross the road, or something like that. Or there's a train coming. Well, yeah, you could be a slightly aggressive barker.

Davey:

No, you'd be like a chihuahua? I reckon no, A little evil chihuahua if you were to bark like a dog.

Hannah:

Chihuahuas are not evil, oh they are.

Davey:

They're horrible little things.

Hannah:

They're fine.

Davey:

They are. They think they're like tiny little dogs that think they're Dobermans.

Hannah:

Chicken suit.

Davey:

Chicken suit.

Hannah:

Chicken suit all the way, have the ability to communicate. Okay, and look a bit silly. So, not be able to communicate and still look silly.

Davey:

Okay, so I can just imagine you in this giant chicken suit with spaghetti hair, eating marshmallows.

Hannah:

As a Wookiee.

Davey:

Flying.

Hannah:

Flying as a.

Davey:

Wookiee as a Wookiee, so you're furry underneath the chicken suit.

Hannah:

Yes, okay.

Davey:

Yeah, yeah.

Hannah:

Yeah.

Davey:

That's you.

Hannah:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you yeah.

Davey:

With my mitten hands, with your mitten hands, job done.

Hannah:

Cucumber legs yeah. Would you go chicken soup? Or would you go bark like a dog?

Davey:

I'd go chicken soup yeah, it'd have to be chicken soup, yeah, yeah.

Hannah:

Cool. Well, we hope you enjoyed this episode. Shawls yeah, is there any of those that you would, uh, you wouldn't or would rather do? Um, let us know. Let us know on our socials. Um, we love you. See you later, bye. Outro Music.